Monday, August 23, 2004

http://www.dhankosa.comPilgrims Progress

Driving north along the shores of Loch Lubnaig I was on auto pilot, after all I had driven this road a hundred times in all weathers, winter and summer. It was as I left Callander, a place I’ve always regarded as one of the gateways to the Highlands, that I realised that this was the first time in years that I had passed this way without a boot full of climbing gear, a bike on the back or a kayak on the roof, and on some occasions even all three! This time all I had was an overnight bag and a set of directions to a Buddhist retreat centre on the shores of Loch Voil.

Midlife crisis? existential angst? curiosity? none of them quite seemed to fit. Why would a fifty one year old former hard drinking Edinburgh cop, more at home with cynisim, conflict and aggression (a direct result of 25 years exposure to said profession some might say!) find himself driving into the car park of the ‘Dhanakosha’ retreat centre, a former Highland Hotel near Balquiddher, in the heart of Rob Roy country?

It’s a difficult question to even try and answer but what I can tell you is, that as the car crunched up the gravel path, my arriving there seemed as inevitable as Frodo Baggins’ arrival at Mount Doom - and for an acknowledged introvert, bordering on the anti social, just as scary.

I had for many years had a passing interest in the possibilities of meditation and, like many, had more than once bought a book and had a go, usually for all of ten minutes! I also had some vague knowledge of the Samye-Ling Tibetan Buddhist Centre in the Scottish Borders and had often thought fleetingly of ‘chilling out’ there, as I then saw it, for a few days.

Who knows when or how this journey started but what I can tell you is that the final impetus to explore Buddhism in a more meaningful way came when having signed up for an MA in Literature with the Open University and done some preliminary reading I began to ask myself why am I doing this? I had already completed the B.A. Hons (Lit) a six year course – did I need more of the same? The result was I pulled the plug on it. And under the influence of ‘Google’ (sounds like something the cops would be interested in!) I found myself doing the introductory Course at the Edinburgh Buddhist Centre. This in turn led to Sangha nights on a Tuesday where a discussion with the Venerable Webmaster (very Tibetan!) Chris, fresh back from retreat himself and bubbling with enthusiasm, led me to the gates of Dhanakosha.

I don’t intend to go into the theme of the retreat because that wasn’t really my reason for going. Suffice to say it was on the subject of ‘Non Violent Communication.’ and was very Americanised – not surprising as the whole concept was founded by an American, Marshall B. Rosenberg. I did learn some interesting things about myself in this context though and took away some positive ideas for change. But I’m still wondering about the brushed nylon giraffe! (intriguing isn’t it!).

Living with other people, strangers for a whole weekend was new to me but I was much more relaxed about it than I thought I would be. The highlight of the weekend as far as I was concerned was the morning and evening meditations in the shrine room. These were led by Smitiratna who is a member of the Western Buddhist Order and part of the resident community at Dhanakosha. The shrineroom is a beautiful building, a converted barn or stable I think, and given that my only previous experience of group meditation was in the, at times, rather cramped Edinburgh centre, the feeling of space was wonderful. The evening mediation was completed with the chanting of the Tara mantra to the sound of a heart rhythm drumbeat –a magical experience and one which I have since included in my own practice.

We awoke on Sunday morning to find the place blanketed in snow from a heavy overnight fall and after morning practice, which I just about missed – I’m a bit deaf and because, like bats, my hearing aids come out at night, I didn’t hear the wake up bell at 7.30am which I am assured is loud enough to wake the dead! – I went for a walk up the hillside at the back of the centre. The water on the Loch below was like glass, reflecting the surrounding hills and forest so completely that it would be hard to tell reflection from reality - (reality?).

My first experience of being on retreat was all I thought it would be and I am looking forward to further retreats at Dhanakosha and elsewhere becoming a central part of my practice. I’ve just found out about a working retreat in November at Guhyaloka, a centre very much off the beaten track in the Spanish Mountains – sounds just the job.

Sam get your bags packed, we’re off again !

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I am just about to go to Dhankosa and your practical and positive comments have helped to lay to rest some concerns I had.

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